Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
