hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
