it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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