Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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