Already got asked if we're dating
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've blown a few things in my day
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
