im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
