Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
