Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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