you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
