Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
