As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
