You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize