Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
