you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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