My balls are so social today.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
