Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Thank you for not boning my boss.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
