soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize