I feel great
I just peed on a car
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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