This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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