I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
