Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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