it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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