i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
