you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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