we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
