Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
