would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
