I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
