This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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