So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
