I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize