yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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