I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
