I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
