And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
