just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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