I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Success! We fucked roommates!
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