I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
