I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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