you guys were way drunker than both of me
only you would photoshop your dick
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
