I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
