sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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