Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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