Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
