That's intense
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
