ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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