Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
