Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
