I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
