He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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