yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
