Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
