i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
