I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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