just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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