i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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