i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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