Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you inspire me to be a worse person
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
