So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
