My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
