He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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